When you eat out of a flex bag — one of our single-serve bags — especially as you watch a lot of the young guys eat the chips, they love their Doritos, and they lick their fingers with great glee, and when they reach the bottom of the bag they pour the little broken pieces into their mouth because they don't want to lose that taste of the flavor, and the broken chips in the bottom. Women would love to do the same, but they don't. They don't like to crunch too loudly in public. And they don't lick their fingers generously and they don't like to pour the little broken pieces and the flavor into their mouth.I know plenty of women who do that, so that's one thing. Also:
This is all I'm gonna say about "Lady Doritos": 1. Stop telling women in every conceivable goddamn way to be silent. 2. In my experience, it isn't female companions I've ever had to ask to stop chewing chips with their mouths open so I can hear the bloody TV.
— Melissa McEwan (@Shakestweetz) February 6, 2018
Seriously, people. Women are allowed to make noise. And make a mess. And eat with gusto. And be fully human.
This should not be a radical assertion in the year of our lord Jesus Jones two thousand and eighteen. WOMEN CAN MAKE NOISE. And should.
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