Tom Hardy + Kids Questions = WIN

Fully 76% of the people in the multiverse have sent this to me (and a hearty thanks to each and every one of you), so I thought it was time I shared it to make sure we have all seen it, enjoyed it, and thoroughly appreciated it for the slice of joyful perfection in a grim world that it is.

Behold: Kids Ask Tom Hardy Difficult Questions.


[A complete transcript is below.]


Video Description: Tom Hardy, a thin, 41-year-old white Englishman with closely cropped brown hair, sits in front of a giant promotional image for his new film Venom, with Devin Griffin, aka Deve, a thin, 33-year-old biracial black Englishman with an afro puff, who is moderating the interview, the questions for which are being asked by children in recordings.

Flashing images of BBC 1 logo, followed by brief excerpted clip of a little girl's voice asking: "What's the naughtiest thing you've ever done?" To which Hardy responds with a grin: "You don't want to know!"

Text onscreen: "We got a bunch of kids to ask Tom Hardy difficult questions."

Dev: When we've had big guests on in the past, sometimes there's a list of questions that we're not allowed to ask. But I've found a loophole to get around this: We get kids to ask some of the big questions. That way, if a guest doesn't answer, it means they hate children.

Hardy: You're piein' off a child.

Dev: Exactly.

Hardy: There's nothing wrong with that if you're a father.

Text onscreen, beside a child's drawing of a house and trees: "Cooper, aged 5."

Dev: So, first up is Cooper, age 5.

Hardy: That's a good age, five.

Audio of Cooper plays: Hi, I'm Cooper. I'm five years old. My favorite number is fifteen."

Hardy: Good number, that.

Cooper: I'm asking Tom Hardy: How did you get into the TV?

Hardy: How did I get in the TV?

Dev: The question is: How did you get in the TV?

Hardy: There's a little door, 'round the back, and inside there, there's various colleges — it's a little bit like Hogwarts, but different — and there's an acting school in there, as well. And after a period of time, you graduate, and eventually you appear, when they let you, on the screen.

Dev: Amazing. How do you get back out of the telly, once you're sort of finished?

Hardy: You open up the door and you come back out again, and you close it behind you. But that's a secret!

Dev: That's some real inside information. Now, Cooper, please keep that to yourself.

Hardy: And also, Cooper, don't go 'round the back of the telly without your mum or dad watching you, okay? — and touch any wires or look for a door.

Text onscreen, beside a child's drawing of a house and trees: "Lola, aged 11."

Dev: Next up we have Lola!

Audio of Lola plays: Hi, Tom! My name's Lola, and I'm eleven. I just started a new school, and I'm trying really hard to behave. What's the naughtiest thing you've ever done?

Hardy: You don't want to know, Lola!

Dev: I think she does, though, Tom! I think she wants to know the naughtiest thing you've ever done!

Hardy: Go online, when you're old enough, and have a look. [Dev bursts out laughing.] It gets worse. But making the effort to try to be good is really, really important — but being yourself is more important. Enjoy being young, because it's very, very special.

Dev: Remember what we always say, Lola: If you don't do well at school, you can always be a radio DJ. [Dev is a radio DJ; Hardy looks directly into the camera and grins.]

Text onscreen, beside a child's drawing of a house and trees: "Sienna, aged 10."

Dev: Next up is Sienna.

Audio of Sienna plays: Hi, Tom! My name's Sienna, and I'm ten. I recently just played Glinda the Good Witch in Wizard of Oz.

Hardy: Leg. [As in "legend."]

Sienna: If I was a snack, I'd be crisps. What snack would you be?

Hardy: What snack would I be? It wouldn't be meaty. I'm not really a meaty snack; I'm too sort of sinewy, you know?

Dev: Mm.

Hardy: So, more of a Twiglet. How about that? A bag of Twiglets.

Dev: [laughing] You'd be a bag of Twiglets?

Hardy: Yeah, you either love it or you hate it, don't you? You either love me, or you hate me.

Dev: I don't know anyone that hates Tom Hardy!

Hardy: Either way, I'm a bag of Twiglets, mate. [laughs] What are you gonna do about it? [laughs]

Dev: What an image!

Hardy: Leave me or take me! I'm a bag of Twiglets. What's up? [laughs] I don't care!

Text onscreen, beside a child's drawing of a house and trees: "Isabella, aged 4."

Dev: Next up — Isabella!

Hardy: Hey, Isabella!

Audio of Isabella plays: I'm Isabella and I'm four! I have five princesses! Jasmine, Elsa, Moana — and Moana is my favorite princess — Rapunzel, Sleeping Beauty, Cinderella —

Dev: [whispers] That's more than five.

Hardy: That's more than five now.

Isabella: — and that's all of them. What's your favorite princess?

Hardy: I'm just really glad that she's got all of the princesses and she's taking care of them [Dev laughs], so I don't think I could choose! Long live all of those princesses. [Dev laughs] Long live Isabella!

Dev: More importantly, long live Isabella!

Hardy: Yeah, she seems like the princess there. In a nice way.

Text onscreen, beside a child's drawing of a house and trees: "Jimmy, aged 6^1/2."

Dev: Lovely message here from Jimmy, who's six and a half.

Hardy: That's a manly age, that.

Audio of Jimmy plays: Hi, Tom Hardy! My name's Jimmy and I'm six and a half! I love goldfish because I think that they're golden! Do you like goldfish more than humans?

Hardy: Jimmy. [laughs] Jimmy, Jimmy. All sentient beings are important. So I don't think you can love anything that's not sentient more than the other, you know? And we can see ourselves in all living things. One has to care about everything and approach it with love. Unless, of course, it attacks you. [suppressing laughter] In which case, lovingly see it off with a big stick. [laughs]

Dev: That's so profound.

Hardy: But! Love all things, buddy.

Dev: Unless! [holds up a finger]

Hardy: Unless it's comin' at ya, mate.

Dev: In which case...

Hardy: Dispatch it with the love, man.

Dev: [laughs] Got ya. Tom, you're the best. It wouldn't work out, but I somehow wish that you were my daddy. [Hardy bursts out laughing] You could give me this kind of advice.

Hardy: Ha ha!

Dev: Thank you so much.

Hardy: You silly bugger.