Shaker Thumbs

Shaker Thumbs is your opportunity to give a thumbs-up or thumbs-down to a product or service you have used and that you'd recommend to other Shakers or warn them away from.

Today, I'm going to give a big ol' thumbs-up to RinseWorks' Aquaus 360 Patented Hand Held Bidet.

And now I'm going to talk about my bathroom habits, so if you are squeamish about toilet talk, then don't read the rest of this post!

Trust that I'm not super thrilled to be talking about the proclivities of my posterior, but this product has been so legitimately life-changing for me that I'm willing to slightly embarrass myself by (over)sharing, because it might help someone else with the same health issues.

So, I've got IBS-D (irritable bowel syndrome with increased diarrhea), which basically means I firehose the contents of my guts into the toilet approximately 87 times every day.

That, in turn, means I have to wipe my ass approximately 87 times every day, and trust me when I tell you that it doesn't matter how luxurious your toilet paper is — that much wiping tears your ass asunder.

The way that many people with IBS-D deal with that is by sitting on the toilet for long periods, hoping to, ah, combine events to minimize wiping. But eventually that tears your ass asunder, too.

Many of us also try to use wet wipes to help mitigate the nightmare, but those are bad for the environment and for your plumbing, so they're not a great solution. And they don't provide total relief, anyway.

Let me just tell ya bluntly: MY ASS HURT. It hurt all the fucking time.

So I spent the $50 on this bidet attachment, hoping that it might help a bit with my butt drama, but, to be honest, mostly I was just trying to avoid destroying the old plumbing in my house with wet wipes. I didn't have high expectations beyond that.

INSERT GLITTERING PEGUSI SINGING "ODE TO JOY" HERE.

Shakers, this bidet attachment has truly changed my life. My butt doesn't hurt anymore, because there's no more endless wiping and no more endless sitting on the toilet. As soon as I'm done, I squirt and scoot — because it doesn't matter if I have to go again in 5 minutes; I'll just squirt and scoot once again!

As an added bonus: It leaves me shower-fresh after every deposit!

Now when I have to do a dumper in public, I'm just enraged about it, lol. (Not really. Only for humorous effect.) Which, of course, brings me to the disclaimer that, if you don't work at home, you might not get as much satisfaction and relief as I do, but, if you're suffering with ASS HURT as much as I was, even dialing down the wiping a bit will still help.

The fixture is very easy to install and works on any standard U.S. toilet. It comes with a little bracket to easily affix it to the tank of your toilet, but I wall-mounted it with a $2 plate and a couple of wood screws from Lowe's, so that it was easier to reach and looked more purposeful.

Also, I should note that it's not a permanent plumbing fixture, so it shouldn't be a problem if you're renting. You can just unscrew it and take it with you when you leave.

Genuinely, this little thing has helped so much. Minimizing the pain of toileting has in turn reduced the stress of it — and since stress is an IBS-D trigger, I'm actually going less now, too.

As the old saying goes: It pays to be kind to your butt! (That is not an old saying, but it should be.)

Anyway! Give us your thumbs-up or thumbs-down in comments!

(As always, I'm not affiliated in any way with any of the companies whose products I mention, nor am I getting anything in exchange for my recommendations. I just like the products!)