It's Still Early, But This Is Definitely a Contender for Most 2019 Story of the Year

Listen, things are super fucked up. This entire timeline is the worst, not just because of reemergent fascism care of a global collection of authoritarian fuckclowns, but because most of humanity is utterly failing to meet the challenge with earnestness, bravery, or dignity — if they're even aware that it's happening at all.

So there are lots of news(ish) stories I read every day that I think are strong contenders for Most 2019 Story of the Year, but Justin Bieber randomly (?) challenging Tom Cruise to a cage match on Twitter is now in the lead by a country mile.

I wanna challenge Tom Cruise to fight in the octagon. Tom if you dont take this fight your scared and you will never live it down. Who is willing to put on the fight? @danawhite ?

— Justin Bieber (@justinbieber) June 10, 2019

Whut? No really. WHUT? What is even happening.

Despite being keenly aware that we are through the looking glass, living in a cuckoo clock that always strikes thirteen, I still have no idea what or whyyyyyyyyy or how any of us are supposed to make sense of literally anything that has happened after November 8, 2016.

Including an aging teen star taking to social media to challenge a fully 56-year-old movie star to a UFC fight.

This is normal now, I guess.

Donald Trump is president and Justin Bieber wants to get kickboxed in the face by Tom Cruise. Sure.